Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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