I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
