Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
