Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
