filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
