He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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