it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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