My room smells like vodka and shame
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
