Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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