Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We need to rekindle our bromance
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
