I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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