he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
either way he was missing a nipple.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Someone shattered a urinal.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
