i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
