well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
