I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
