I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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