Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
