One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
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Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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