we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
