I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize