she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize