Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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