i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize