He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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