i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize