How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
where does the pee come out of this thing
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Randomize
