So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
