Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
