Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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