Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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