what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
