we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
