I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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