is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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