when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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