Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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