Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
