Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
