FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
