No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
