he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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