In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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