He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
