Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
