What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize