Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
