It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize