Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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