"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
