just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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