R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
