that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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