I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize