Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
17 Guys Share When Their Parents Found Their Porn Stash
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The 19 Creepiest Missing Person Cases
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.