yea but for you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode