She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hippo gnu deer
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.