you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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