when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
