i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
