I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
