he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
