remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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