Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
