If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
